Let me tell you, I moved to another country and I can’t have a job until I get citizenship (which I can have in 2 years) so the only way I have to help pay bills is through commissions. I know they look really low in price but anything can help right now.
The things I won’t do are NSFW and Mechas, anything else is good.
So in lore, vampires have this trait that I’ve almost never seen used, and that’s the fact that vampires are OBSESSED with counting things. Like, the Count on Sesame Street was almost certainly created specifically as a vampire because of this piece of lore.
Like, I read this vampire book years and years ago that explained that a surefire way to protect yourself from vampires getting into your house was to spread a ton of seeds on your doorstep–poppy and mustard seeds were particularly recommended for the purpose. Basically, if you suspected someone to be a vampire, all you had to do was drop a sackful of seeds on the ground in front of them.
If they didn’t immediately start counting them, they were not a vampire. However, if they WERE a vampire, they’d be seized with the urge to count all the seeds and they would not budge from that spot until they knew how many seeds there were in total. The point was to keep them there until the sun came up and killed them, because if they hadn’t counted all the seeds by sunrise they wouldn’t be able to leave. Presumably you could just go about the rest of your evening as normal, though no word on whether it’s possible to make them lose count and start over.
Having remembered this piece of lore, I want fewer stories about brooding tortured Edward Cullen-esque vampires. I want to start seeing more stories about math nerd vampires.
Vampire accountants who are an honest company’s best asset and a corrupt company’s bane because they are frighteningly accurate with the accounts and will not hesitate to blow the whistle on a CEO scamming money because fuck you for making the numbers wrong.
Vampire cashiers that don’t need to look at the register screen because they already mentally calculated your total. 10-items-or-less vampires who know goddamn well you have 20 items in that basket and NO, you cannot just slip in with the rest.
Vampire math tutors who are constantly in high demand and have to hold lotteries to see who gets to be tutored by them.
MATH NERD VAMPIRES
If anyone would like the term for this, it’s arithmomania.
“But sir, he’s a vampire!!!”
“Vampire or not, he’s the best damn accountant we have here, and i’d let him drink my blood before i fire him!”
“still less of a leech than Matt in legal. Fuck matt”
Okay but also, vampires as drug dealers- a profession that requires extremely quick, extremely accurate counting. “You’re 5 dollars short.” “There’s 50,000 dollars in there at least, how the fuck did you count that fast-” “Pay up or I will drink you like a slurpee.”
Okay, anyone who is playing the new Pokémon games, I’m kind of at a loss for words… I’m just a casual more or less, I didn’t play any of these old games when I was younger. I did play X/Y and Sun/Moon some, but never beat either one. So here I am now, addicted immediately.
I named my adorable little critter bff Rey and was lucky that it was indeed a girl! I looked it up and apparently the chances of getting a female (let alone on first try) are obnoxiously low.
OH MY GOD HOW CUTE IS THIS. So I use her all the time. Everywhere. She’s like… one hitting everything and barely getting hurt from enemy attacks. I’m like… is this normal? She is so strong and brave and sturdy! She’s level 25 and I have the ability to “judge” Pokémon now. I’m curious how this little girl fares…
WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!?! Does everyone’s starter Pokémon have stats like this? Am I in some weird dream land?!?! I feel like this game is super easy because of this beast, if I had the other game would Pikachu have stats like this? This is unreal. I wish my Chespin in Y had these stats, I struggled a lot with that damn thing.
OP got a perfect IV female eevee on their first try, reblog for luck
this is my favorite image on the face of the earth and im going to ruin it by trying to paint this tomorrow cause i have no artistic ability, using water color, which i have no experience with except like painting when i was 5. ill be liveblogging the probable failure. stay tuned.
looking good so far, i might have done it in the wrong order cause im not sure how im going to get the detail in over the back ground, but my water color kit came with some practice paper so i didn’t ruin a whole canvas
its not exactly going to plan….
his eyes are so unseeing
okay, i need to reblog him again cause look at his stupid dinky flippers. he looks like a bad cartoon not the majestic selkie that he is. i keep saying im so mad but laughing at how ridiculous he looks
kazzykatt 